On becoming a Person

Carl Rogers, the eminent psychologist, wrote in his book On Becoming A Person:

"I have found it of enormous value when I can permit myself to understand the other person. The way in which I have worded this statement may seem strange to you. Is it necessary to permit oneself to understand another? I think it is. Our first reaction to most of the statements (which we hear from other people) is an evaluation or judgement, rather than an understanding of it. When someone expresses some feeling, attitude or belief, our tendency is almost immediately to feel "that's right" or "that's stupid" "that's abnormal" "that's unreasonable" "that's incorrect" "that's not nice." Very rarely do we permit ourselves to understand precisely what the meaning of the statement is to the other person."